Adventure With Me in Deep Red Sea

Anonymous asked: What do you like in a woman?

MY TORPEDO

Meet the Cossacks, part 2

pharaoh-man:

dcn003:

waveman034:

skillandcrossbones:

“Who indeed.” Skull snorted briefly, stepping away from the wall and marching toward the kitchen, as a man with a mission. “No offense to the present company, but most of us aren’t built for stealth - or even make the effort. Dive, Drill, and Wave are not suspects. I can’t see Bright as a food thief, though we can’t go ruling out possibilities. Traditionally, Toad fancies himself a vegetarian, but he also lacks discipline. The Miss is not a morning person. Prime suspects would be myself, Pharaoh, and the Doctor…” He mused allowed, turning the corner to make his way back to the kitchen.

“…But none of us are innocent. And nobody is leaving the premises until we’ve caught our culprit.”

“Fine by me,” said Wave with a shrug of his broad shoulders. “We can just buy some bacon if this takes too long. Anyways, if some bastard did take it, he probably ate it already.” 

“Hnnngh,” Drill mumbles from his face’s current position (which is, incidentally, buried into Pharaoh’s shoulder), productively adding to the conversation. The mining bot never did like zombie movies. He leaps away when Wave mentions that they can just ‘buy more bacon’, but he’s still mostly clinging to his brother. Looks like it was definitely time to get some extra blankets for tonight.

“You do not buy bacon so easily in Russia, Wet Man!” he admonishes. “Well, you do… but grocery day is not for while.” Drill’s thin shoulders immediately sag. All he wanted this morning was some delicious fatty pork, but now even that was ruined for him for a while. His stomach growls sadly.

“We feel like we should be offended that you suspect us, Skull,” Pharaoh rolled his eyes. “But we know how these things go. So, shall we head to the kitchen then? And search for clues?” and to reheat our tea? But that went unsaid and he promptly followed Skull back into the kitchen with Drill in tow.

He decided against waiting for the water to boil again and just put his mug into the microwave. “So, shall we dust for finger prints? Round up the household?” The microwave dinged and Pharaoh took a sip. Ah, good, hot again. “Ah, we can catalogue our events from the morning. Who would like to start?”

Of course he wouldn’t offer himself, Pharaoh was quite enjoying this game. He knew he didn’t take the bacon, but what fun would it be to get straight to the point anyway?

Dive smiled “THE GAME IS FOOT, IN DEED!” He gave a fine sherlock impression, if only a few decibels out of appropriate range.  He pulled Wave in by his hand and listened carefully to Pharoah’s assessment. Then he pointed at the very large skillet filled with bacon grease and then the sticky plate left on the table in front of the tilted pulled out chair. “OR COULD JUST FIND OUT WHO ALREADY UP, AND NO GOOD WITH KITCHEN MANNERS…”

gyroflyinghigh:

waveman034:

dreadoctober:

…is this somehow your goddamn fault?

YOU BE NICE TO WETSKY!

Dive it’s fine. I just should stop talking and drink a few. 

Who, the fuck, are you?

CAN NOT YOU READ? DIVE MAN I AM!
AND WETSKY, COME, DRINK ME 

gyroflyinghigh:

waveman034:

gyroflyinghigh:

waveman034 replied to your post: What do you like in a woman?

Not this shit again.

The fucking hell is with this?

…just forget about it. 

…is this somehow your goddamn fault?

YOU BE NICE TO WETSKY!

The mystery of not so properly hidden green slime.

toadmandcn-026:

doctorcossack:

dreadoctober:

Dive turned on his advanced sonar system as he cursed himself silently. He had not thought of the substance being IN the wall. Sound waves oscilated off the wall and its interior coming back to his ear caps mapping out all the surface until he noted a development of massive fluid pulsing and swelling around the plumming line a few feet away. “THERE PAPPA”

“Yes Toad, something like that.” He finished and patted Toad on the back to seal the compartment before looking to the wall. “Not load bearing, can’t recall any important power junctions… Hmm. Low Yield please, Dive?” With that he covered his ears. “After he fires, Toad you launch the Rain Flush pod at it, Da?”

Toad watched carefully, he knew he would have to take in everything that happened, as to not mess up on the last hurdle, so to speak. He looked at his father as he was given his one simple task. The little ‘bot nodded with enthusiasm, turning to the wall again.

“Yeah! Let’s do this!” He was really acting as if this were some form of secret agent mission.

But that was just the mind of a young, Russian, built bot. Never a dull day.

Dive smiled like a madman as he slammed his fist into his chest to trigger his armour node, and the solid blue plating generated around his body. He targeted the spot on the wall his sonar had keyed in on and set forth a single blast with a low yield dive missile from his chest level weapons system. “AWOOOOOGAHAHHAHAHAHA”

skillandcrossbones:

dcn003:

skillandcrossbones:

splashwoman replied to your post: I dhoulg jave gome agter you wjen i haf tje chande yoi;re tii godd gor tjat orfanic nbitcj

Ske’s mot god emough for yoi. Wjy dom’r we drinlk togetkjner amtymore?

I’m still a little worried that you hate me. I feel like it’s a legitimate fear. I’ve tried to keep my distance from everyone.

D:8>

I COULD NEVER HAVE THE HATE FOR YOU, BROTHER

I know, Drill. I know.

OF COURSE KNOW DRILL, WE BROTHERS

Meet the Cossacks, part 2

pharaoh-man:

dcn003:

waveman034:

The slap on his bottom made Wave’s blush darken on his fair skin. Normally he would complain to Dive about not doing that in public, but he figured it was better to ignore it and focus on the task at hand.

“Does the bacon at your house normally just disappear like this?” he asked, his eyes scanning around. “I know that if this happened back at the Fortress, there’s a fat chance that someone took it.” 

“Bacon is best day, Wet Man!” Drill announces cheerfully. The very thought of it totally distracted him from his discomfort, and he leans even more into hs brother’s side, happy that he’s getting a hug. “Is like big race— with tasty at the end!” Pharaoh had to be right— right? Just because there was someone new added to the mix didn’t mean they would all fall apart, or anything. Drill wouldn’t let it.

It takes a while for what Skull says to sink in, though, and when it does, he still misinterprets it anyway. “Wait. …Bacon is able to moving when dead?!” Drill’s eyes grow huge. “Is like zombie?! We have been eating the zombies?!” He clings to Pharoah suddenly, and if he had hands, they’d be in a death grip around the egyptian bot’s waist. “Is making no sense! Undead would never be tasting so good!”

Pharaoh gave Skull a look. The look seemed to threaten bodily and/or mental harm if Pharaoh had a new room mate for the next few nights. And judging by the grip around his waist, he was. He didn’t really mind except that Drill was a blanket hog and Pharaoh enjoyed his blankets.

“Mayhaps we should check the kitchen for clues?” he was trying to move this along. His tea was undoubtedly cold by now. “We highly doubt that the bacon would get up and walk. Perhaps while we were out here someone snuck in and took it all? It certainly cannot be supernatural.”

Dive looked at his brothers, and his boyfriend who he favoured with yet another cocky wink. “CLEAR, BACON THEIF AT WORK! BUT WHO SNEAKY ENOUGH?”